Survivors share about isolation, shame, and loss of their faith due to unquestioned MCC loyalty in churches

MAST continues to hear from survivors on a regular basis. We are now aware of 60 cases of “bad endings” with MCC. One theme that often emerges is the extreme pain that many feel due to isolation from their communities in the aftermath of their bad ending with MCC. This post highlights some aspects of that pain.

Feeling ashamed

Not only the experience of being abused, bullied, or harassed itself traumatic; when an MCC worker returns early or returns traumatized, the unquestioned loyalty to MCC in many congregations adds to a sense of shame and isolation. As one survivor explained,

“There is trauma when you come back. I felt like I had to say [my MCC term] was great. I felt such shame.”

Stopping church attendance

We are currently aware of 14 cases in which NDAs were offered and 11 in which they were signed. Some individuals who sign feel extreme pain due to social isolation from their Mennonite communities, which are full of loyal MCC supporters or even MCC leaders who are complicit with the abuse. One shared with MAST that they had not even written about the events in their journal, even years after being fired and pressured into signing an NDA as a condition for receiving a severance package. This person says,

“I hid because I was ashamed. I sold my house, left the area. I couldn’t go to church in case ___ (MCC leader) showed up. No one ever reached out to see if I was OK.”

Another survivor, sharing her lack of connection with a Mennonite church since the abuse, says,

“I feel so isolated from anyone who cares or who wants to know.”

A third, who had a breakdown after being fired, told MAST that they had stopped attending church.

Losing faith

One survivor, with 17 years of experience with MCC, recently described in a letter to the Canadian Mennonite the effect that their ordeal had on their faith. This person says,

“I felt betrayed. The core Christian value of restoration of relationships which MCC has touted worldwide as a core value was proven to be meaningless in my case. I felt that MCC was willing to sacrifice my well-being. At best, I am agnostic these days. My family and the few others I associate with note a dramatic personality change.”

They also relate that after resigning,

“No one from MCC ever reached out to me after that to see how I was doing or just to check in. It was as if I no longer existed. I know that it would have been difficult for them to do that, but it felt like after a 17-year relationship I was no longer a brother in Christ to them.”

What can churches do?

We are extremely concerned that so many people who return home broken after MCC service are then broken again by their church communities. Both MCC’s silencing tactics and constituent churches’ unquestioned loyalty cause harm to survivors of abuse. The MAST steering committee has now met with leaders from several Mennonite denominations or regional conferences. In these meetings, we emphasize that the pain that abused people are feeling does not just come from how MCC treated them. It is exacerbated by the silence of congregations, who communicate to these suffering people exactly the same message that MCC has hammered into them through bullying, harassment, and intimidation: you are expendable; the reputation of Mennonites’ largest peace organization matters more than your integrity, peace, safety or wellbeing; or even: you are “no longer a brother in Christ.”

What will it take for congregations and conferences to step in and help, both to support survivors like these and to speak out against MCC’s abuse? MAST is preparing a resource to support pastors who seek to address this issue with their communities. Meanwhile, read this page for a list of actions you can take. Consider:

• a conversation with a pastor;

• raising the point at your congregation’s annual meeting;

• organizing a Sunday School class on the topic of abuse in the church;

• proactively reaching out to people who might have had a bad ending with MCC, especially those who have moved to the margins of your communities;

• taking some time to educate yourself about abuse within church organizations.

Don’t underestimate the impact that small actions can have!

Survivors regularly share with us what a difference it makes when even one person treats them with respect, listens to their story, shows compassion, speaks out, or in some way acts like an ally. Be that person for someone else today!